"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
John 14:18 (KJV)
What blessed words!
What solace they bring!
To my sad, hurting heart.
Jesus said in that same chapter a couple of verses before, "And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever; even the Spirit of truth...for He dwelleth with you, and shall be in you."
How I praise the Father for giving me this dear, precious Comforter!
How I worship Him to know that He will abide with me forever.
That He dwells with me, and He is in me.
How else could He reach those inmost parts that are so raw, broken, and bleeding?
An external, outside force, no matter how powerful, could never penetrate that far.
This kind of healing has to happen from the inside out.
My beloved Comforter is dwelling with me, and He is in me....doing the work.
That I cannot do.
That none of my loving family, friends, and loved ones can do.
They are so dear to me...every, single one.
They try so hard.
Their words are so kind...so full of deep want....to heal my pain.
They feel frustrated, incapable.
I wish they wouldn't.
For every remark, every hug, every gesture of love....goes straight in...to my shattered heart, and every act of kindness and compassion is appreciated so profoundly.
I could never convey my deep gratitude...through something as inadequate as words.
Mine fall so short.
It is just that the component of this kind of healing must start on the inside.
And only He can reach it.
Only He can do this.
I feel Him at work.
I have served Him for many years.
I've read the 14th chapter of John more times than I can remember.
Almost every time we asked Mom what chapter in the Bible she wanted us to read to her, she would say, "The 14th chapter of John."
I even memorized part of it when I was in school.
But, I came to the realization tonight that I have never known the Comforter....like I do now.
And though I've needed Him desperately many times, though I am completely dependent on His power working within me to make it through every passing day, I have never needed Him....this much.
I have never relied on His presence....like I do right now.
Since I have never endured this kind of anguish before, the need has never been this deep...this profound.
How would I ever experience the consolation of the Comforter on this level, at this frequency, if I never walked through this degree of intensity of pain?
Jesus could have described the precious Holy Spirit by using many different titles.
He chose "Comforter".
"The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost" is the description He used in verse 26.
I have felt His presence with me tonight...in such a real way.
I don't know if I have ever felt Him this close...this near.
It is the sweetest, most intense solace I have ever felt.
I've never needed comfort on this level before.
Hence, I've never experienced Him on this level.
No matter how deeply we hurt, we will never exhaust His capability to heal.
No matter how intense our pain, it will never press beyond His power to alleviate.
No matter how far-reaching or long-lasting our grief, we will only begin to tap into His capacity of longsuffering.
He is my Comforter.
Today, marks the 12th anniversary of Dad's death.
It still hurts.
The wound of losing Mom is much more fresh.
It hurts even more.
Neither grief is beyond the scope of the Comforter's power to remedy.
I am finding that the more I hurt, the greater I experience Him and what He can do.
How else would I come to know this magnitude...this extent...this intensity of who the Comforter really is?
"Thank you, precious Father, for not leaving me comfortless. Thank you for coming to me...tonight...through the presence of Your Holy Spirit. Thank you for the pain, Lord...if this is what it took to allow me to see You this clearly....to feel You this keenly....to experience You this intimately. I have never been here before. I have never needed you like I need you right now. And, I have never loved or appreciated You more. For Your comfort, for revealing Yourself to me in such a real way, Father, I thank You. In Jesus' name, Amen."