Sunday, May 10, 2015

To Those Who Are Barren....On Mother's Day

"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. 
Praise ye the LORD."  
Psalm 113:9 (KJV)


The following is a post I have published here before, 
but I wanted to tell the story again to encourage those who long for a baby of their own
this Mother's Day.

I know how hard this day can be for those who are barren.
I felt that sting for many years and talk about it here.

**************************************
I stood in the toy aisle of a local department store,
trying to find something appropriate for my two nephews' birthdays that were coming up....
only two days apart.
As I looked, I noticed a little boy out of the corner of my eye, standing near me.
He couldn't have been over three or four years old.  

He wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around him...
so intent was he on looking at the toys in front of him.
After a period of time, he picked up a toy and looked up at me
with hopeful, pleading eyes and said, "Mommy!"
As I turned to look down at him,
instant visible disappointment washed over his little face
and quickly replaced the anticipation from only seconds before.
As soon as he realized I wasn't his mommy, he ran off to look for her....
this abundantly blessed woman who had the sweet privilege of hearing his little voice address her with the title I so longed for.

I stood there....stunned.  

My heart was shattered.  

It took a few minutes to recover from his disappointed expression that,
completely unbeknownst to him, had shot daggers of hurt through me.  

How I longed to hear it!
To be someone's Mommy.

Would I ever hear that word coming from the mouth of our own child?
Would that joy, oh, that blissful joy, ever be mine?
How often I thought about it...
dreamed of what our baby would look like....
if only it were possible.
If only there was a way...
some miracle that God would send to fill this empty hole inside of me.

At this point, Kevin and I had been married for several years,
and we desperately wanted a baby of our own.
I had been to at least four doctors...including a well-known fertility specialist.
I'll never forget the day he figured out the reason I had never conceived,
and I can still remember the feeling that came over me as he
verbally confirmed that the problem was....well, me.  

My condition was such that it would be very difficult,
maybe completely impossible, for me to ever conceive the baby Kevin and I wanted so much.

The last doctor I went to decided the best thing to do was to just try
to improve my physical condition to the point that I could at least feel well.
After another round of blood work and testing,
she let me know that even with fertility drugs, 
we would more than likely be forever childless,
and she spoke of methods of treatment
to give me relief from the symptoms I had become so used to tolerating.

I'm glad she didn't have the final word.

I'm grateful Kevin and I have faith in God.

I'm thankful there is a Higher Power, Who is able to do "exceeding abundantly above all that we can ask or think..."  Ephesians 3:20 (KJV)

How blessed we are that His Sovereign power trumps that of  modern medicine!

Sometimes the winding path He leads us down seems unending, and we feel our faith is in vain.


I'm not going to say that during this beyond difficult season of our lives 
there weren't moments filled with questioning His will for us.  
I won't deny the insecurity I felt, and my feelings of worthlessness as a woman.
You can read our complete infertility testimony in much greater detail here 
We held on to our faith and our dream and we determined 
to follow God's plan and trust His wisdom.  
In due time, God chose to open my barren womb for one precious moment in time, 
and nine months later, He sent us the baby we so longed for...
a beyond-precious baby boy who is now 14 years old and brightens our home in a million ways every, single day.
A true, modern-day, Divine-intervention miracle!!!

Looking back with that 20/20 hindsight, God's timing couldn't have been more perfect.

He saw things that we did not see.
He had a plan all along to give us a child of our own, but we had to be willing
to submit it all to Him and allow Him to do things His way and in His time.
When the time was absolutely right, He did what neither we, nor doctors could do.

I find it interesting to study the lives of the men in the Bible who were born to previously-barren mothers.

Sarah was barren for almost all of her life, but God gave her
the gift of a son, Isaac, at a very old age.
He grew up to become the father of Jacob, whose name God later changed to Israel....
that change of name was the beginning of the nation that still bears his name.

Rachel was barren and unable to conceive.
In due time, God gave her a son, whom she named Joseph.
As a grown man, God used him mightily to preserve the lives of His chosen people, the Israelites.

Hannah was barren and prayed earnestly to God in the presence of Eli, the high priest,
for a child of her very own.
God granted her request, and she gave birth to Samuel who grew up to become a mighty prophet.

Elizabeth was barren, and God sent a son to her after the time of her childbearing years.
He grew up to be John the Baptist, the forerunner of Jesus Christ.

I often wonder what wonderful plans God has for this sweet son God has sent to us.
His conception defied medical understanding.
His life was spared through many perils inside the womb, 
and God graciously allowed him to be born full-term and healthy.
.
I have never gotten over the wonder of hearing him call me "Mommy", or these days, "Mama",
our eyes meeting, and the realization that he doesn't look disappointed,
and he doesn't run off to look for someone else.
I have never lost the sense of gratitude to God that I feel every single time I realize that....
he is talking to....me!!!

**************************************
To God be the glory forevermore!

Don't give up your faith, dear barren friend.
Perhaps your barrenness results, not from a physical disease or issue,
but from never having found the man of your dreams.
Perhaps, you long with all your soul to find the one who will melt your heart,
fulfill your dreams, and commit to a lifetime of loving you.
God is still on the throne.
He still opens barren wombs.  (Psalm 113:9)
and
He still sets the solitary in families.  (Psalm 68:6)
He understands your pain this Mother's Day.
He sees every silent, falling tear...
hears every whispered, anguished prayer...
feels every sting of pain, loneliness, and despair.
He knows how "left out" you feel...how "out of place"...how disconnected.

Your fragility is a precious thing to Him.
He loves you with an everlasting love.
He understands why you can't understand.
You are beautiful in His sight.
Don't ever forget it.
Keep praying.
Keep trusting.
Keep believing.
Keep your eyes on Him...
not on your diagnosis,
not on the doctor's final word,
not on the failed attempts,
not on the negative pregnancy tests,
not on your own inabilities.
Force yourself to focus on GOD,
His power, His Word, His promises.

He is there, with you, wherever you are,
and He cares.
So do I.
If you would like one more prayer partner in your corner,
feel free to contact me, and I will make the commitment to regularly bring your need
to the Throne of Grace.

I know, on a very personal, painful level, 
what God can do.
What He has done for Kevin and me, 
He can do for you.

Much love to you, dear, precious friend.
Never lose hope...you are not alone.


If video doesn't load, click here.

34 comments:

  1. So thankful that you were able to have a boy! What a blessing to be able to share the pain with others who have struggled. You are an encouragement to them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your sweet visit, Emily. It is so nice to "meet" you. I appreciate your encouraging words! God bless you. :)

      Delete
  2. I'm so glad that you got your heart's desire of a baby. Your story reminds me that great things always come to us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Heidi, for your sweet encouragement. I am so thankful for your visit! God bless you. :)

      Delete
  3. What a beautiful and inspiring story, Cheryl! It is so encouraging to others struggling with barrenness-- and I really believe that it one of our main jobs as Christians, to encourage others to know their value to God and to have genuine hope in His great love for us.
    You are doing a wonderful job on your commission, my friend! :)
    Love, Beth74

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Beth! Your dear words meant SO much to me today! What a bright spot of encouragement to be told such a thing....thank you SO very much for your steady, consistent faithfulness to God. You are such a blessing to me! Much love and many blessings to you, dear friend. :)

      Delete
  4. Hi Cheryl! I'm so glad your story ended in being able to have a child after all. My husband and I also struggled with infertility. We have two wonderful adopted children, and now how three grandchildren. God took care of us too! It wasn't fun. It was a disappointment, but God dried my tears and brought me a family in a different way. He is so good.
    Happy Mother's day (a day late!),
    Ceil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Ceil! I am SO sorry to know that you, too, struggled with infertility. It hurts me to know that you were unable to have your own children, but I am so thankful God gave you precious adopted children to fill the empty void. He is SO faithful! Thank you for your sweet encouragement and kind words. You are a blessing to me!

      Delete
  5. Cheryl, your words are always beautiful, but perhaps this is one of your most tender posts. Your gratitude over the joyous gift of your own child is palpable - but so is your understanding and grace to those who still long for children of their own. In all things, God knows and has a plan. But there is a special pain in barrenness. Yet, even in that, He understands and is capable of filling in the empty holes and mending the broken places.

    Hope you had a very wonderful Mother's Day. And I eagerly await with you the life that your precious boy is going to have. He is special...

    GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Sharon! I am so grateful for your dear, sweet words...they mean SO much! I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day, too...mine was just perfect, and I could not be more grateful. God is so faithful and good to each one of us. Much love and appreciation to you...God bless you, too. :)

      Delete
  6. I love your persistent, endless faith. It is balm for any man or woman who has any barrenness anywhere in their soul. Your testimony is beautiful and I can't help but think about your son. Born to parents who want you so bad, who have faith in Christ like you and Kevin; it must be wonderful to be him. We are all blessed who hear your story!

    Love,
    Mary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, dear friend, your precious, encouraging words mean SO much! To God be the glory for all He has done! I am believing for Amy's miracle, too....I pray for her so often and think of her pain. God is able to do all things, and we will keep believing for her miracle! I can't thank you enough for stopping by and leaving such sweet encouragement behind. You are such a blessing to me!

      Delete
  7. You are such an encourager thank you for pouring your heart so beautifully and yet inspiring.
    God bless Cheryl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Ifeoma! It is always such a blessing to see that you have stopped by. When I clicked on your name, it took me to your Google+ page, and to a blog post that was SO helpful to me. Much love and many blessings to you, dear friend. :)

      Delete
  8. How wonderful that we serve a Faithful Creator and He is good no matter what! In counseling I sometimes draw a diagram of God's hand with droplets of water trickling through His fingers. I color in a few of the droplets (the trials) and remind those I'm ministering to, that everything in our lives is filtered through His fingers and is always mixed with His blessings, the white droplets. And, as you said so well, His timing in our lives is always perfect! Blessings and thanks for linking up at Mondays @ Soul Survival.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I LOVE your thoughts on the droplets! How wonderful to know that God's filter is being applied to everything that takes place in our lives! Thank you for this timely reminder. You are such a blessing and encouragement, sweet friend. God bless you, in return. :)

      Delete
  9. THIS is what it's about - using the tough, dark, troubling times to encourage and uplift others going through the same thing, making sure that all of our pain and grief and suffering brings glory to God who brings us through it all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES, my friend, you are so right. It is so wonderful that we can all be there for each other and share heartaches and smiles. God turns our tests into our testimonies so we can overcome and help others to overcome. I am so grateful for your sweet visit and encouragement. God bless you, in return!

      Delete
  10. Oh Cheryl, you have an amazing testimony to God's amazing blessings and miracles. I am so pleased for you that He gave you a baby a child to call your own and a child to call you mum. I too have had periods of infertility and they can be the hardest periods in our lives, waiting is so hard, but you have shown us that we just need to cling to God and His word and wait for the miracle to happen. Thank you for sharing this with us at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Terri! I am SO thankful, too. For so many years, it surely didn't look like it would ever happen, but God, in His infinite mercy, has blessed us so much. It is so hard to wait upon Him. Waiting feels like such wasted time, but He is always working out what is best for each of us. I am so sorry you have struggled with infertility, also. So thankful He has sent you children, also. He is SO good! I always enjoy your visits so much...thank you for stopping by. :) Much love to you.

      Delete
  11. I can visualize that little boy in the toy department while holding a toy and calling "mommy," and his disappointment that you were not his mother - - yet those words did sting and penetrate your heart. I am so thankful that God at the right moment opened your womb to receive a child He knew would bless you and Kevin. Your illustrations of the barren women in the Bible who were later given a gift from heaven. I have know many single women who eventually worked with orphanages, or children's ministries, and became mother to many. Thank you for sharing with us here at "Tell me a True Story."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I know what you mean, Hazel. He was so innocent and, of course, he will never know how much that hurt. I have often thought of him through the years, and I always remember that awful feeling. But, God has turned my tears into smiles, and this sweet boy brings us so much joy every, single day. I am so grateful to you for the wonderful link-up and for your encouraging visits here. God bless you!

      Delete
  12. Your beautiful testimony brought tears to my eyes. I never get tired of hearing about the miracles our great God does in the lives of his children. I'm so glad he gave you someone of your own to call you Mommy. I can tell that you are an amazing mother.Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, dear friend! Thank you so much for your sweet words! I can't begin to say how much I appreciated them. God bless you abundantly. :)

      Delete
  13. What a beautiful post, I am sure this will help many. Our God does give miracles! I never realized there were so many barren women in the bible that then later conceived, that is some inspiration right there!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I love to read those stories...Hannah's was my favorite when I was going through infertility. I will never forget how much I related to her and how my heart went out to her. Someday, I hope I can meet her in Heaven and talk to her!! Thank you so much for stopping by and for leaving such sweet words of encouragement behind. God bless you!

      Delete
  14. My heart goes out to all those who have a difficult time at Mother's Day. My daughter lost a baby a few weeks before Mother's Day last year. She couldn't face the Sunday service last year or this so we spent the day at the beach as a family. We are still trusting God for a little miracle from Him for them. Blessings !! Visiting from Titus 2sday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Rebecca! Your dear daughter! How her heart must ache. I feel so bad for her. I do hope and trust that God will send her a sweet baby of her own and wipe all tears from her eyes. It is so sweet that all of you got to go to the beach as a family to support her. Some things are more important than sitting in a church pew. God bless you for being so sensitive to your daughter's pain.

      Delete
  15. What a beautiful testimony! The Lord's timing is always perfect, even though in the very midst of the turmoil and heartbreak sometimes that is hard to believe. Your post is such an encouraging one and I'm so glad to have met you, and will continue to follow your posts. Blessings to you today :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I am so happy to have met you, too. I really enjoy your blog and am thankful God allowed our paths to cross!! God bless you for stopping by and for leaving such sweet encouragement behind!! :)

      Delete
  16. Late for this one, but what a blessing your story is! I never ceased to be amazed at our Father's perfect timing and will. Not always what we want, but what we need and He needs to fulfill His perfect will. Blessings to you and yours, sister. Being grateful to God is the beginning of humility and the only way to find His grace and peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right, brother. I love what you said about how being grateful is the beginning of humility and the only way to find His grace and peace. Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. God bless you.

      Delete
  17. I am getting in late on this post but I had to respond. With tears in my eyes I read your story. The pain I suffered so much like your own. The longing for a tiny voice to call me mommy. I clung to every barren woman in the Bible. Reminding God over and over that He heard their cries. You know my story. 25 years, 2 months and 8 days of prayers. Crying out to God, even waving my fists at times. That tiny 20 minute old bundle of baby boy being laid in my arms. A perfect gift from a sovereign God. At this point I have to share with a chuckle that his first word was Dada. But when Mama finally came out it was joy unspeakable!!!! I know Cheryl that you know that feeling. Happy Be-lated Mother's Day to you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, dear Desiree, you suffered so long...my, your waiting was twice as long as mine...I just noticed that. Bless your dear heart. I know you understand so well what this all feels like. Oh, my, that is something how his first word was Dada, after all that! But, I know you are enjoying hearing him call you "Mama" every, single time he says it. We have so much to be thankful for, my friend. May God richly and abundantly bless you always. I so appreciate your comments and encouragement. Much love to you.

      Delete